Tag Archives: Revenge Porn

Abuse not Revenge

Whilst reflecting on the last 6 years, how far I have come and how the term ‘revenge porn’ has tainted mine and many others who have experienced this form of ‘new age technology abuse’. Our strive as experiencers to ‘heal from the trauma’ of intentional deception of former partners or worse unknown others, it is apparent now more than ever that the term ‘revenge porn’ does not fit the crime and seriously points a finger to experiencers, ultimately negating the effects of the intent of the perpetrator to cause distress and harm.

Revenge – The action of hurting or harming someone in return for an injury or wrong suffered at their hands.

Pornography – Printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity intended to stimulate sexual excitement.

So by continuing to use the term ‘revenge pornography’ it is stating that the perpetrator felt the need to intentionally share without consent sexually explicit content because they were wronged and shared the content intentionally to stimulate sexual excitement? One has to ask – did they share for their sexual excitement or to arouse others to be excited sexually or both?

Either way the term only promotes public scrutiny, finger pointing/blaming and the undoubted questioning of ‘what you may have done to provoke such a heinous, callous and cruel act’.

One experiencer that I have supported said:

The term ‘revenge porn’ is one of the things that upsets her a lot as it instantly makes victims feel seedy, when sometimes the photos may not be. It has caused me to have panic attacks.

Just like this experiencer I also found the term very onerous, especially when questioned by someone as to what happened or explaining what the term means. It is definitely a horrible feeling that leaves a huge stigma on your mental health from a personal perspective. You go through stages of painful self blaming, you are disgusted at how you managed to allow this to happen to you and constantly beat yourself up by telling yourself how could you be so stupid.

Image Based Sexual Abuse is like online rape and by rape I refer to the acronym:

Repetitively And Purposely Exposed

The intention of the perpetrator is  to cause harm not only by them but by others. I recollect reading the numerous ‘splurtacion of vileness’ when I came across the porn site that my ex uploaded my photographs to. Yep! Porn Hub was one of those sites.  I felt sick to my stomach how people who didn’t know me had described how and what they wanted to do to me in such a sexually explicit way – I felt repeatedly sexually exploited, exposed and violated.

It is important NOW more than ever that we remove the stigma of ‘REVENGE’ and ‘PORN’ as the crime is simply  ABUSE USING SEXUAL IMAGES. We must now refer to what it is IMAGE BASED SEXUAL ABUSE (IBSA). All those who provide support to experiencer’s should remove the negative connotation going forward and acknowledge the crime for what it is.

It all helps to ‘change the narrative’ and change is needed NOW.

Shattering Myths about Image Based Sexual Abuse – Clare McGlynn, Erika Rackley and Kelly Johnson

Image-based sexual abuse thrives on myths.

Myths about motives. Myths about victims. Myths about political,  legal and institutional responses.

  • It’s only a picture, you can move on … myth!
  • It’s all illegal now anyway … myth!
  • All you need to do is report it to the police and the picture will be taken down … myth!

Our report – Shattering Myths and Lives: A Report on Image-Based Sexual Abuse – drawing on 25 interviews with victim-survivors of image-based sexual abuse concentrates on the reality of this pernicious form of sexual abuse.

Image-based sexual abuse shatters lives. A significant numbers of victim-survivors experience profound ‘social rupture’ – a major devastation that drastically alters all aspects of their lives. Take, Anna (not her real name), for example:

“My whole world just crumbled … I’m nowhere near the person I once was. That’s gone and it’s rebuilding a new part of me now … It’s torture for your soul, it really is”

Victim-survivors spoke of abuse that is constant, ongoing and relentless; that shatters not only their lives, but also the lives of those who love and support them.

And yet, the Government is proposing to wait at least three years – that is until 2022 – before making changes to the law that we know now would make a dramatic difference to victim-survivors. Such as extending the law to cover so-called ‘fakeporn’ and threats to distribute nude or sexual images without consent, to provide all victim-survivors with automatic anonymity, to provide victim-survivors, and those supporting them, with resources and support to enable them to provide bespoke technical and long-term emotional support.

ACTION IS NEEDED NOW

To provide victim-survivors with increased protections, access to justice, adequate support and to prevent further lives from being shattered by this devastating form of abuse. And if the Government truly understands this, it will take action now to correct the most egregious gaps in the law, and increase support for victim-survivors.

Read the full report here

 

Don’t Suffer Alone! Stand Up Speak Out

Finally for the first time in 4 years I can honestly say I don’t feel alone on this journey. Its been a struggle but perseverance has been key.

VOIC now has a Facebook Group of victims that provide peer to peer support. If you are out there with no one to talk to and no one understands then why not join our group.

It’s a safe closed space and no one will judge you. Reach out and connect and don’t suffer alone. Just click on the poster to find our group.

 

Expressive Art – A Photo Captures A Thousand Words

How Powerful Would It Be !

If we could all speak out verbally about the way we feel, the hurt we have gone through, the trauma being abused brings and the betrayal that you feel, knowing you let someone do this to you! Imagine, there are many victims who want to speak out but don’t know how; to find the courage, the belief or the strength to do so.

‘How powerful would it be if we could all speak out verbally’

I dedicate this post to those victims, that cannot express themselves Emotional Turmoil - Folami Prehayeverbally like I do. For those who are struggling, to ‘live happy lives’ because the affects of image based sexual abuse, has ‘stripped their spiritual soul’ and they have been thrown into a world of depression, unworthiness, disgust, fear, anger, disgrace and despair.

Again – I find myself impelled to get involved in things that i feel would benefit others; that will support my cause and my worth as a human being, trying to make a difference.   Continue reading Expressive Art – A Photo Captures A Thousand Words

Naked Selfies Are Everywhere – By Lauren

lauren“Kim K posted them and got both praise and critique, starting a huge feminist debate that hung around the internet for several days. Chelsea Handler posted one to celebrate Reese Witherspoon’s birthday. It seems to be a accepted to be naked on the internet”.

Unless that decision was made by somebody else for you. Unless that picture was meant for one person’s eyes only. Unless that photo has been used against you.

In August 2015, I found out that I was a victim of what is most commonly known as ‘Revenge Porn’. If you’re not sure what it is let me introduce you to one of the worst corners of the internet; ‘Revenge Porn’ is the sharing and publicizing of images with the intention to embarrass. Most commonly it is the act of a former partner who sees fit to share your images that you never thought in your scariest nightmares would be shared.

My experience with it was not how the usual ‘Revenge Porn’ occurrence. I may have found out about it in 2015 but it had started 3 years prior. My friend had texted me a screenshot of a Twitter account with my pictures all over it – yet it was not mine. The account had several links in the bio for a lot of photo-driven social media websites, all with my first name and my personal photos. Not only did social media have my photos but also  some of the most disgusting porn sites I have ever seen. I was everywhere.

Going through the images was tough – I couldn’t bare to see anymore of them on anymore websites, but I had to keep going in order to gather evidence for my case officer.

Continue reading Naked Selfies Are Everywhere – By Lauren

My Lonely Walk As a Survivor of Revenge Porn

For those following my journey, I feel that at times I need to tell you how I feel.

LonleyThis has been a very lonely journey and at times I feel frustrated, disappointed but really not surprised to be honest. I have been helping other victims since becoming a victim of Revenge Porn in 2014, which is over a year ago and long before the Revenge Porn Helpline or the new Revenge Porn Law came into fruition.

Its alarming how those who claim to be fighting the same cause, ‘raising awareness of revenge porn’; ‘those who provide support & advice to victims of revenge porn’ deem to do so alone. I have tried to reach out to victims who speak out publicly (by the way there aren’t many) and other agencies to work in partnership against this heinous, sole destroying and destructive crime.  To date this proves to be a battle – just like battling my fears when I was a victim of revenge porn.

Now a survivor I feel that I have made my stance clear!

I do this because I care, because I’m passionate and no longer want to be a victim but to take control of my life. I do this because I want others to see that even though life can be painful and people are cruel, vindictive and hurtful. You can rebuild your life.

Continue reading My Lonely Walk As a Survivor of Revenge Porn

Sextortion – Sexual Exploitation On The Rise

BE AWARE & ALERT

This crime is on the rise

In the summer of this year, I was asked to be a guest presenter on Crimewatch.  My topic ‘sextortion’.

Talking about the rise of this internet crime, it dawned on me that this in fact is another ploy to publicly embarrass, victimize and cause destructive stress to victims by using sexual images or videos, but with an added financial gain.

This is the crime that involves extorting money or holding someone to ransom for  financial gain. If your not careful you could easily become a victim! Victims are often caught out by surprise, they think they have befriended someone genuine through social media. This could be via Facebook, or any social media platform. Victims are usually caught out after a brief conversation or after building a very brief but sexual relationship with someone they think is real.  Then when the victim feels comfortable they are coaxed to either talk via a webcam using an online gateway or by using another form of webcam device such as Skype.

I interviewed, Wayne from Scam Survivors on Crimewatch.

Wayne has an interest in online scams/scammers and works on a voluntary basis to help victims get rid of the scammers who have tried to extort them for financial gain. Continue reading Sextortion – Sexual Exploitation On The Rise

ITV This Morning Interview

imageMy interview on This Morning  was the beginning of something that I hoped would help others going through what I had experienced and bring the issue to the mainstream audience. Little did I know how this exposure would affect, not only me as an individual trying to make good of a bad situation but also how the topic of ‘Revenge Porn’ is viewed by others.

It was definitely an opportunity I could not possibly ignore. I am on a mission to empower and support others by showing my strength and commitment to something very close to home. I have experienced mixed emotions and at times thought….

“Maybe I should have crawled under a rock and kept quiet”

In hindsight I received a lot of support and have had publicity interests to help highlight  what I am doing, which has empowered me even more to reach my aspirational goals. There have also been those negative hurtful comments that you allow to ‘niggle’ away at your inner core. It’s  easier for other people to make judgement or indeed feed on another persons misfortune.

The hardest part of this journey so far has been learning how to become a sieve, to be resilient and not let negativity get into your space.

Here is the link to my interview http://www.itv.com/thismorning/hot-topics/revenge-porn-victim-folami-prehaye

 

Revenge porn to be criminal offence with threat of two years in jail

New legislation will punish practice of sharing sexually explicit media on internet without consent, says justice secretary

Pornography website on a computer
The new offence will cover the release of explicit images online and in the form of printed pictures. 

Revenge pornography – sharing sexually explicit images of former partners without their consent – is to become a criminal offence punishable by up to two years in prison.

The legislation is to be introduced into the criminal justice and courts bill that is currently going through parliament, the justice secretary, Chris Grayling, has announced.

There has been mounting political pressure to outlaw the practice of humiliating former lovers by posting intimate pictures of them online.

Among those pressing for a change to the law has been the former culture secretary, Maria Miller. Others have argued that the problem is already covered by existing laws against obscenity or blackmail.

The new offence will cover the release of explicit images both online and in the form of printed pictures.

The justice secretary said: “The fact that there are individuals who are cruelly distributing intimate pictures of their former partners without their consent is almost beyond belief.

“We want those who fall victim to this type of disgusting behaviour to know that we are on their side and will do everything we can to bring offenders to justice.

“That is why we will change the law and make it absolutely clear to those who act in this way that they could face prison.”

The minister for women and equalities, Nicky Morgan, added: “Circulating intimate photos of an individual without their consent is never acceptable. People are entitled to expect a reasonable level of respect and privacy.

“It is right that those who do circulate these images are held to account, and that we educate young people to the hurt that can be caused by breaking this trust.”

The new legislation will mean that images posted to social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter will be caught by the offence, as well as those that are shared via text message.

Images shared via email, on a website or the distribution of physical copies will also be caught, the MoJ said. Those convicted will face a maximum sentence of two years in prison.

The offence will apply to photographs or films that show people engaged in sexual activity or depicted in a sexual way or with their genitals exposed, where “what is shown would not usually be seen in public”.

Other laws may still be used to prosecute the sending of sexual images such as the Communications Act 2003 or the Malicious Communications Act 1988.

Treat Revenge Porn As A Crime

We must treat revenge porn as the crime it is

Internet providers need clarity in the law to remove what should be illegal material

hand on a laptop

The Prime Minister has said that revenge pornography is an appalling offence Photo: Alamy

Is this an example of the online world running faster than the laws we live by?

Over the past six months I have spoken to numerous victims, all women, who have suffered the impact of revenge pornography. It is clear that many feel they have suffered a virtual form of sexual assault that can continue for months, or even years if the images are not tracked down and removed successfully. Work done by other organisations in the online safety world indicates that this is a problem acutely affecting gay men too. Some pictures are posted on social media websites; others are sent to bespoke “revenge porn” sites, where non-consensual photography is now a category in its own right.

Existing laws are simply not effective. Posting revenge porn is not necessarily harassment; it’s not always grossly offensive nor indecent. But it is extreme humiliation, using sex to wreck the victim’s personal life and jeopardise employment prospects in the future.

Yesterday the Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP) issued new guidance on posting revenge pornography online. In publishing this new guidance, the DPP has acknowledged that the law is far from clear. But we knew that already. Assistant Chief Constable Garry Shewan, who leads the investigation of harassment and stalking in England and Wales, has said clearly that revenge pornography is not of itself a crime in this country.

I welcome anything that can help victims who have suffered for too long without any protection – but nothing short of a change in the law will send a clear and unambiguous message to the perpetrators that this is a criminal offence which merits a serious criminal sanction.

In the US, numerous states have been forced to pass legislation to protect private citizens from the growing problem of revenge pornography. The same is true in Canada and Israel. It really is now time for the British Parliament to act, too.

In July, when I raised the issue directly with the Prime Minister, he acknowledged that revenge pornography is an appalling offence and that it “clearly has criminal intent”. The Lord Chancellor himself has recognised that it is becoming a bigger problem in society and that appropriate action may need to be taken.

Most victims just want the material to be removed so they can get on with their lives, but internet service providers need clarity in the law so they can have protocols in place for removing what should be illegal material.

In October there is an opportunity to give that clarity and make a change in the law, to send a message loud and clear to the perpetrators of this horrendous crime that in posting such images online they risk a serious criminal record. The Justice and Sentencing Bill has to be amended as it passes through the Lords to make posting revenge pornography a criminal offence.

Maria Miller is a former Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport